Hey, Twenty.
This isn't a letter just to another year, but to another decade.
I've said goodbye to my teens. Something that I, ironically, have wanted to do for a few years now. As a wise friend once said to me, "Being 18 (19, et cetera) in college is like being 14 at a stake dance and dancing with an 18 year old." That pretty much sums up being a teen in college.
I so looked forward to being a teenager growing up. I was excited for high school. I was excited to date. I was excited to drive. It's funny that those things have all passed by. I lived my teens to the best of my ability, and it really did live up to my expectations, for the most part. Of course there was heartbreak and pain. Of course I was awkward and it took a while for me to be comfortable in my own skin. (Though I'm proud to say that I'm pretty close to that.)
And now, I saw farewell to nineteen, to a whole decade, a whole two decades; and I'm saying hello to a third.
They say the your twenties is the decade of decisions. Ain't that the truth. I started experiencing that early. This semester has been filled with decisions and decisions and decisions and I just don't know how to deal with all of them while in school and just trying to function as a human being.
I've just been rolling with the punches, which, right now, means trying to pass my classes and not make *stupid* decisions. It's kind of ridiculous how many large decisions are being made without much thought. Or, more really, are being eternally stressed over until it's too late.
Nevertheless, I am excited for my twenties. I hope that in my twenties, I am daring. I hope that I learn to be selfless, but after learning to take care of myself. I hope to become the creative I want to be. I hope to travel more and love more. I hope to truly find myself.
I have a vision of who I want to be; I plan to be that girl in my twenties and beyond.
She looked around.
How did I get here?
Twenty years goes by so fast
...
Dreaming when her eyes aren't shut.
Looking in the mirror,
Smiling at her fear.
Nothing really matters,
These eyes have so much to see.
20 Years - Bad Suns
Where in the world are we going with all our dreams?
Running scared, running free
Twenty-Somethings - Judah & The Lion
Your twenties are for spending hours and hours pretending
We have plans and we have places we should visit
But everybody knows your twenties are for wasting time
Cause you could be with any one you wanted, you could
Take that job they offered and move down by the ocean
...
I don't wanna take the world for granted
while I'm still trying to understand it
...
This world makes me dizzy how'd we get so busy
No one tries to take the time it takes to turn your
love into a love or friends into a family
...
Everybody's chasing something
but they don't know they're chasing someone
The more I live I am convinced
everyone just wants to be in love
Love & War in Your Twenties - Jordy Searcy
