2019, pt. ii

First of all, 2019, thank you.

You were a year of growth, of finding myself, of loving myself, and of just figuring it all out.

You were quite the year, and for all of it I am grateful.

You started out pretty hellish. I felt trapped in my own skin by my anxiety.

Then we figured it out, together, 2019. I saw a doctor and started medication, I moved to Mexico with five strangers, I conquered a lot of things I had been terrified of for a long time.

Things only went uphill from there.

My anxiety got better. I was walking through the streets of Guanajuato, so perfectly happy for the first time in a long time. And it stayed that way.

I learned a lot about myself in Mexico. The experience itself was telling, but also the women I lived with really taught me so much. They taught me to love myself, simply by their example. They helped me understand my mental health in ways I hadn't previously. They helped me feel sane and loved and validated.

And then I came home. I saw old friends. I started school again, and though it was scary, it was fine. I made it through.

But I didn't just scrape by. I wasn't just surviving like I had been in the beginning of the year. I was actually beginning to thrive.

2019, you were the year I overcame the thick of it. I overcame the year's challenges, and even the decade's. I worked through a lot.

I feel like myself again. And it's been a long time coming.