You were a blended month. I started you in Mexico and ended you in the United States.
I miss Mexico, but not like I thought I would. It feels like a dream, and almost like I didn't even say goodbye. But on occasion, I see a little boy who reminds me of Sebastian or a little girl who reminds me of Valeria, or María Paz, or Victoria, or Benjamin, or Juan Paolo, or Josue, and I get a little teary-eyed. Or I watch a video of my kids and it all becomes real too fast, like a pinch - the dream wasn't a dream; it was real - and you miss it.
Returning home was kind of a whirlwind of *wow all of my friends are (coming) home from their missions and is this high school? but no it's not we're just older now.* I have been anxiously awaiting the day that I would have my friends back, and that day has come. It's different than I imagined, but mostly because I'm different. I changed a lot in Mexico. I'm glad to have these friends home; it feels so natural being around them, but I expected our friendships to go back to what they were like in high school, but we're different now. And that's a good thing. We don't need to be as attached to one another as we were then. We don't need each other in the same way I believe we (I) did then. We've grown up. We(I)'ve moved on, ready to keep on goin'.
It's strange, knowing the way I imagined it would be and seeing the way it turned out; I wouldn't change a thing.
I overcame things in August. I faced fears (seeing a returned ex, going hiking for a date,...). Something clicked in me this summer that I hope I hold onto.
As summer comes to an end, I'm not ready to lose my first-ever tan (thank you, Mexico) and I'm not quite ready to face the brittle Idaho winter, but I'm ready to see how what I have learned this summer affects my daily life in a normal way.
So thank you, August.
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